Live every moment...Take every breath

SUMMER....full of work. sun. friends. love. work. and work.

(found this unpublished blog, well was soon to be a blog, thought I would post the sentence I have....)

Life.Overflowing.Varying. Emotion....that is love <3


Study.Study.Homework.Reading.Study....Oh crap I have to eat....Sleep (if that's what you call closing your eyes for an hour).Study.Study.Test.Study for the next test....You get the idea.

Yes...it is finals week here in the life of a college student. One good thing about that statement: I'm not alone. I can look next to me and know they are equally as hungry, sleep deprived, and wholly exhausted.

So I am sitting here reflecting on all the moments I've had this year...seems to have flown by soooo quickly. I am surrounded by nothing short of absolutely amazing people and as much as I am excited to have this summer ahead, I'm more excited for this upcoming school year. I will be sharing it with so many of the amazing people I have met this year....most exciting I will find others to also share it with. Next year will be my last year of college, but I'm not ready to be done....not yet. I want to travel the world and accomplish so many things...my ambition is high, I'm just hoping the world can keep up with me :)

Thank you to all of those that made this year what it is...Katie, Western would be nothing with out you....thank you for being the one there for me, and thank you for lacking the same filter I do :) hehe. Can't wait to call you my roomie again this next year!!!!

Right now I am overflowing with emotions....emotions of love and happiness and so many of sadness...leaving such a beautiful place is so hard. I can't wait to come up and visit everyone :)

Ohhhh Love...isn't it amazing?

...such a name, so deserving....why? Because I feel dead. All of the papers, projects, and intended countless hours of studying. But, here I am, almost through the worst of it, and after it's over it's another year down. Ahhh I raise my...uh...energy drink...to those fighting with me....on the front line.

Picking up where I left off I sadly have very little to update. I have been putting much time and effort into this spring quarter at school -where I am finally within arms reach of the light at the end of the tunnel. Dancing has ceased temporarily as we all have more then just a few things on our plates....and although I miss the dancing, the faces are what I miss the most. They have through time become very familiar..like a sort of family. My hair is now black, but my eyes are still blue.....new purses and accessories manifest in colors of the rainbow attempting to will the weather to show the sun. Surrounded by towering trees and soft gusts....the smell of fresh rain....and the physical diversity.....ahhhhh, this is Bellingham: a city I wish to never leave. Men and women of all types, sizes, ages, and ethnicitys standing all on one corner, the same corner, holding hands, sharing love, and carrying signs to remind us to....well, live.

A sweet face I will never forget....one of my long time friend, companion, and confidant.

My beautiful doggie passed away this last week....i received a phone call from my mother.

mama: "sissy....you there?"
me: "yes mama"
She had the tone I knew, the tone that goes without any explanation....so I reply with tears in my eyes...ready to cry at the news I'm about to hear.

I remember the day we went to pick her up....a sweet brown puppy laying in the front yard of a house underneath a white plastic chair, finding any shade from the beating sun of the summer. As my family approaches she perks up her little puppy ears and starts to crawl towards her curiosity. Picking her up she sat in the backseat with me on the way home, laying on my lap her whiskers tickled my legs. I remember giggling the whole way home, finding it quite funny, but now wanting to move her one inch.

She got used to our house, her puppy sister, and our backyard. Maple, named after her search to eat tiny spouts of what would have been baby maple trees....

This dog wasn't just a dog, not just a friend....one of my best friends. She would come into my room with nothing but perfect timing. She was the dog that was there when I was crying, the dog that was there when i didn't feel so good. Her sister Libby was the healer, but she was the friend. She died knowing so many of my secrets, whispered into her little ear....as she answered with kisses, cuddles, and love, the world seemed to be just a little easier.

She had an amazing life. One full of love, happiness, treats, and billions of kisses on the top of her sweet head. She was ready....it was time. That little puppy was 12-13 years old...she has suffered her share of strokes, episodes, and pain.

I saw her last when I went home for spring break. She came to me and pawed at me, the first time in over a year, so I took time and laid with her....i remember crying and looking into her clouded eyes....and whispered one more secret...
"May..my sweet sweet May, I love you. I would have had my childhood no other way, you never told any of my secrets, so I'm going to tell you one more. May....let go. Please please let go. You deserve to be pain free....I will never forget you."

And we fell asleep next to each other. I know I didn't say goodbye, but it was the best ending I could have asked for. I love you my little Maple Tree....

Love
Small Girl

Well...."second home sweet home" I guess is how it would be more precisely written. I arrive back to my apartment, where life is....different. It seems now to be a bit more familiar then Tri-cities, somehow. The only thing I'm missing from my complete and joyful life in the B-ham is my best friend...my mama (and of course my sweet sweet puppies, of which I will have pictures posted shortly).

Day One of school: No class, no chores, no....nothing I suppose. Seems I should find something better to do with my day then...nothing hehe, but lacking the motivation to do so. My apartment is clean and refreshing -so not much to do in the way of cleaning- the sun is shining and I'm lazy...and right now feel as those I'm entitled to such a feeling.

New classes, new quarter, new season. This quarter is going to bring a lot of hikes and even more adventures....be prepared.

Spring break came and went....a few days and multiple pounds later and I seem to be less motivated, less productive, and suddenly much more tired.

Back to Bellingham I go with organized clothes, spring fever, and an attitude ready for some much needed Bellingham air...and Bellingham people. Though the excitement never fails me, my mom seems to be many miles too far away from my second home. This couch and my gorgeous mom did their job -along with my puppies- of being my therapeutic break from what one calls "college." I came home with mush for a brain, and a tired body....which quickly turned into a cold/flu. My mama armed me with vitamin C and an well-rounded woman's vitamin and I was starting to feel myself again. Thank goodness my sickness came after the necessary finals....

...so back to the second home.

Hopefully I can make it through this grueling drive! All luck should be wished ;)

"Its a brand new day, the sun is shining, its a brand new day. For the first time in such a long long time, i know...ill be okay."
-Joshua Radin

Today has been beautiful out, the sun shining and the slight breeze blowing...I'm starting to get over the cold that overtook me the past few days; the kind of cold that creates breathing difficulty -but only on one side of your nose- and a constant run on the other. The kind of cold in which you seem to constantly be fighting the feeling of a sneeze....the kind of cold that is just plain...
miserable.

Now I'm gaining the spunk to my step and the breathing abilities once again and cannot wait to get back up to Bellingham healthy and ready for this last quarter. There is nothing better then spring in Bellingham, the trees, the blossoms, the water, the gorgeous sun. All of which makes this quarter the hardest to attend....

Thankfully these classes are of high interest and I will be there....a good manicure and pedicure later (both self accomplished) and I feel like a new woman :) Thank goodness that's all it takes, calling me a cheap date might be a reach, I'm a free date ;)

Loves

So here I am....spring break bound -and loving every minute of it.

My mom, my brother, my life, my puppies, my bed.......home. It was a needed for the "sick and stressed out student after finals" disease.
So what am I doing at home???? Reading. Yes, reading whatever I want, whenever I want. I had an absolutely amazing trip to the world of Wally (Wal-Mart) to pick up a book of choice...
And to my fantastic realization I don't have to look up the number of the book I must purchase for a class I will be taking, a book that is ridiculously overpriced because it is written by someone with the letters "P H and D" at the end of their name, nor is this book one that strains every muscle in my back just by holding it in my arms....noticing muscles I didn't know I had.
No this is a light, cheap, book full of fun and vivid images leaping off pages....a book of entertainment, pure entertainment. Ahhhhhhh, refreshing like a glass of ice cold water on a hot summers day. It is 1:55 in the morning and I'm going to be reading.....I feel this might be the beginning of a phenomenal pattern. Goodnight all =]

Yup....this is me. Last day...spring break here I come.

After this final I'm going to sit and stare at a wall...a white wall....a blank white wall....because a wall with even a light switch will create too much stimulation for my brain.

Finally....days of "lack of blogging" and finally here I am once again. Any thinner? Maybe. Any stronger? Maybe. From INSANITY? That is also a maybe.
No I have not been doing the workouts, but have been busy being sick and studying...simultaneously I might add. This is the one thing I dread....sick at finals. UGH. So I am still alive (although not all that sure how) and knowing I will indeed get through this week (hopefully with little scarring) and the savior of spring break will be calling my name.
Spring break brings with it a couch, a mom, sweet puppies, and relaxation...the perfect recipe for what I need.
Through this last week, although not everything going as planned, I have encountered much....goodness. Ahhhhhh sweet sweet goodness (speaking of a recipe for feeling better). Now I am 2 finals down, one more to go, studying hard, still slightly sick -but nothing compared, and happy.....and not to worn I suppose.

I will be going home to spend amazing time with family and friends and a new addition....stella, a sweet sweet puppy...the newest addition to our family.

I am my mothers daughter and that I will always be. I have had my hair red, but felt a change coming on....not just any change, a dramatic "that is not your normal hair color" WOW change.
After 5 hours of dying, bleaching and redying....its finished....here are pictures of my inspiration!

Yes I toned it down please do not worry. I will be posting a picture of my hair once I take a good one =]

I'd love feedback!

Ok so lately I have been slacking on the update of my INSANITY....so here it is.

Day one: I got prepared (or what I thought was prepared) for the first workout. I was clearly not prepared and it kicked my ass, to say the least. Yes, I made it through the whole thing and was very proud of myself -after I puked all of my breakfast up due to the intensity. I couldn't wait until the day I could finish a workout without the aftermath....so that was my next goal.

Day two: And I thought day one was bad?!?!?! BOYYYY way I wrong. I put on the DVD with a positive mind.

"I can't wait to gain back my muscle and strength, feel good about myself, and finally get into an exercise routine!"

20 minutes in (after the warm up and stretching) my muscles were soooo done. So I took it a bit easy -keeping in mind that I hadn't done any intense workouts for many months due to my health- and finished out the rest, but not at full capacity.

Here I am day three....
The toilet is too low, the toothbrush too heavy. Eating is no longer worth it because getting the food to my mouth is a workout in itself. Once I sit down, I'm not getting up, and I had officially decided brushing my hair was over-rated....yep, this is me, COMPLETELY done.

Today I am returning to the torture....the pure torture. I WILLLLLL get through the 60 days, I will and I know it. I have faith in myself....I think.

So today was the first day of my 60 day long adventure...by the end I should have a before and after pic so you can see the results...
But this is all I have to say, ABSOLUTELY ASS-KICKING!!!!! That is what today's workout was, and I am still in the glory of the accomplishment. Many close to me know what this means....but watch out for Shawn T. he's one drill Sargent =]]]]]

I LOVE THIS...I would recommend it to anyone.

Yes, in the morning will be the beginning of my INSANITY, though it seems my sanity went out the window many years ago.
This is the new start...which is interestingly enough going to bring back the old Celestan. The strength, power, happiness for love and life is about to occur. I'm sure many wonder why this workout plan is going to do so much for me.....well here is a small list:

• It proves the doctors that put a time limit on my life...well WRONG
• Builds back up the lost physical strength
• Proves to me I have the mental strength to do anything
• And starts a new beginning, a beginning in which NO ONE can determine the ending...so HA.

Today was the most amazing day yet....since sliced bread....and though many would consider that not too exciting, I strongly disagree. I still remember the day to which I had my first slice of "sliced bread"...finding a sugar-free && dairy-free bread was more difficult then one might assume at the time of my childhood. No, I can't have wonderbread...the soft fluffy bread with those cool colored polka dots.....sigh....

Ummm....anyway, today was unbelievable, almost as though I was living in a wonderland...ok, ok, horrible pun I'm aware. It began with the sun, then progressed to a dinner for my soon-to-be 20 year-old roommate (boy how time flies), later to iceskating...which turned out to be QUITE the adventure... and then to the most exciting part of the evening...the part that led me to this blog...

ALICE IN WONDERLAND
(magnificently done by Tim Burton himself)

Not only was the movie so beautifully done, it was in 3D...yes with the cool glasses and all, which are now made of plastic frames versus the once 3D glasses that were flimsy paper frames, the one with the green and red cellophane posing as "lenses" I suppose. Never-the-less the movie was fantastic. On a side not.....a detailed side note I suppose....as I was watching I could not help but notice the design of clothing, particularly of Alice, the detail going into each gown, each one seeming more ornate then the previous....and every dress...every dress one my mother would die to own. Anyone who has seen this beautiful movie will know what I'm talking about, as she shrinks and grows repeatedly she must be re-clothed. So mom this is for you....watch Alice In Wonderland, if not for the movie, for the dresses.

Tomorrow is a roommate cleaning day, then grocery shopping on Sunday, and Monday is DAY ONE of INSANITY.....
Support is loved, thank you all =]