Live every moment...Take every breath

I just spent time reading all of the blogs that I have posted over the years. The last one I wrote was now over a year ago...so much has happened in a year, but it reminded me what I should be grateful for...so I will start blogging a bit again. If not to help others, to help maintain my sanity :)
See you soon world.

Home is such a powerful word with such interpreted meaning...

Life had flown by....now I am here as a college graduate--- weird, even hearing it said aloud sounds unreal. It's no longer necessary to say "I am getting my degree in...." BUT rather, "I have my degree in...." There is nothing that sounds better then that. All of the work that was put in, all of the days that went by carrying so many loads of stress on my shoulders, just hoping that I will one day make it through it all.....now I look back and all of those days are not only over, but SO worth it.

Life has been a mini whirlwind the last few weeks. I graduated and had my family up in Bellingham with me to witness the big day :) I then packed for vegas and spent the weekend there with some ammmmazing people. I am now in Arizona attempting to help my best friend make it through this HUGE move with some sort of sanity. And finally her and I are making a roadtrip from Arizona to Washington. This trip is all about taking advantage of what a TRUE road trip should be, participating in adventures, and taking off on the road with the company of only a few plans an incredible amount of spontinaity!

A girl couldn't ask for a better Graduation present. I can't wait to get on the road....I won't lie, I also can't wait until I...excuse me, WE get home!

  I wrote this blog last year and as I was reading it again it really rang true- as I think it always will. I really needed to post it again.....enjoy.



I know I already posted a blog today, but the hours in this computer lab have created an experience worth two days of information. Its 8 o'clock and I sit in this computer lab staring at the screen, comparing this focal relationship over and over again....trying to figure out why x --> y.....WHY does x --> y???? I take a break to read up about my brothers adventures in Africa, then read my mothers recent post of stories of her children....and sit in awe.

She claims she learns from me, but how is that possible when I learned what I know from her? How is it that she can be so moved by us when I still look to her for answers and comfort? Then I figured it out....it's not what we learn from each other, but what gain from others in the process. Then to go even further; it's what we do with that information, how we interpret it, what charge we give it (positive or negative), how we use it to change ourselves, and finally, how we present it to others. So I finally come to the result that the chain of information isn't as easy as x --> y.....just because x DOES affect y, doesn't mean it affects it in its entirety, but its created by all the variables in between. How x is conditioned, how y is compacted, and how variables intervene in the road to get from x to y....

Its 8 at night and I FINALLY comprehend the relation of variables and their place within a focal relationship....maybe sociology will be helpful after-all :)

I am a student, a daughter, a girlfriend, and a friend. I am a woman, a teacher, a listener, and......a human. I try and fulfill all of the "whose" and the "whats" that I am to fulfill...but I'm human.

The balance of social and academic worlds have been nearly impossible to maintain. Is there really such a thing? Can balance in this world really exist? Or is it just the time in which we are waiting for the balanced to fall.....


I want to be everything that I have been put on this earth to be. I want to succeed in school and in life as a friend. People over time, my tried and true motto, something I REFUSE to fail to live by....if I do anything, it will forever be that. SO...what about school, where does that fit in? Though that is neither 'people' nor 'time,' but isn't it worthy of being fit into such an equation....or is it just what should be filling the room left unused by the solution?? Finding this fit of both student and friend stress me out more then the actual duties of either...seems odd maybe, but it's where my weakness lies.

When I am lying near the end of my life and I look back, what will make me feel accomplished? That answer has always been easy for me....the impact I had on the lives of others.....personally....through the work of my own hands. I want to have made a dent in this huge world, even if that dent is not seen by many, but instead seen by few; I would rather have taken the time to have set aside the typical "priorities" our insanely chaotic society has thrown in front of us, and make some real difference.....problem is, isn't a larger difference going to be made by the way I live my life and the connections I have- and aren't the connections something I may attain by the place I have in the world of higher education and the workforce?

SOOOO after asking all of the questions I come back down to the root of it all. I want to do well in academia and be the best friend someone, anyone, could ever ask for. 

Well the imbalance of my two entirely different spheres has seemed to collided and now here I am wondering, stressing over why it all feels so wrong. Why it all feels like I'm falling short in both areas. I guess I need to remember that I am human....I try as hard as I can and I have to remember it doesn't always feel right, but I do my best and everyone knows....I do my best. 

It's summer again...it seemed to come much faster then I thought....no surprise. My FIRST summer away from the safe haven of Tri-Cities: so bitter-sweet.

Miss the entire weekends out on the boat.

TriCities summer....how could I not kinda miss that...